Memoir - Jennifer

 Memoir - Jennifer

Who says you can’t meet good people on-line?  Jennifer and I met on-line on Silver Singles.  I submitted a poem for my profile hoping to be different enough to capture the attention of women looking for something a little different:

A Couple of Couplets to Create a Couple

 

Stout soul who is full of mega-mirth

Seeks interesting companion to travel the earth.

 

Renaissance fair lady who is constantly learning

And for meaningful dialogue is always yearning.

 

A little left of center would be just right,

And if not a Humanist, then maybe a Bright?

 

Appreciative of the arts and especially of plays,

Events like concerts, Spoken Word, and cabarets.

 

A seeker of wisdom and multi-level communications,

Wanting to be supportive through personal collaborations.

 

Socially concerned having learned to be empathic,

In love with her humanity, as much as the public.

 

Developing our Multiple Intelligences including EQ,

Our Intra- and Inter-personal skills, with all that we do.

 

Stimulating conversations on multiple levels,

Spanning the spectrum from seriousness to chuckles.

 

If any of these couplets with you resonate,

Let me know post haste, to set up a date.

 

Curiousdwk

She sent me an e-mail saying that she loved the poem but didn’t think I would be interested in her.  So I set up a lunch date at Bertucci’s Italian restaurant in Andover, MA which was about half way between me (Marlborough, MA) and her place (Rowley, MA).   Besides learning that we lived about one hour and 15 minutes from each other, we discovered a lot about each other.  Jennifer learned that I wasn’t so concerned about a woman’s intelligence as I was about my ability to have fun and enjoy her.  And she found out I was looking for a weekend lover and not a full-time partner.

We agreed that she would come down Friday evening and we would go out for dinner and maybe a concert at the local Firehouse Arts Center in Framingham, MA.  Then we would enjoy Saturday, out for dinner and then a plan, or a concert, or a special event on Saturday evening.  Then on Sunday, Jennifer would return home.

This schedule went on for two weekends and we really enjoyed ourselves and each other.  And during all this, Jennifer feel head-over-heels in love with me.  But while I enjoyed her, I was not in love with her – at least “love” as she defined “love” based on the many Hallmark movies she had watched on TV.

One of Jennifer’s daughters, who had just graduated from college, was living at home and they weren’t on the best of terms.  As a result, Jennifer saw her choice of either being at home in an uncomfortable environment, or being at my place where it was like she was on vacation – no responsibility, or chores, no expectations and as close to Never-Never Land as one could find.  So, not so gradually, she started to move in with me and spent more and more time during the week as well as the weekend. 

Soon her schedule would be to go home on Sunday evening, then return on Tuesday, return home on Thursday, and then return to my home on Friday afternoon for the weekend.

I was working full time, then, and I will admit that it was nice to come home at 5:30 pm and walk through the door to the delicious smells of dinner for the night.  But after several weeks, I felt I was being crowded and I started to resent her moving in on me like that.  This resentment began to grow as I hate confrontations and so I kept found reasons not to confront her.  I didn’t want to lose the relationship and our weekends – just not during the week.

Finally, I resolved I was going to confront her that next Saturday.  I even planned which restaurant I was going to take her to and tell her.  However, when man plans, the gods laugh.  That Wednesday, while at work, I got a telephone call that Jennifer had suffered a heart attack and was at her nearby hospital. 

As a concerned friend, I went that Wednesday to the hospital to visit her.  Also I went on Thursday and Friday evenings after work.  I continued going daily to visit her until she was transferred to a major hospital in downtown Boston.  I still visited her in Boston daily.  These visits by me were by a concerned friend.  However, to Jennifer, it was a display of my “love” for her so she became more and more convinced that I loved her the same way that she loved me.