THE PRINCESS AND THE KITTEN

Once upon a time, there was a Little Princess.  She would play around the house all day with her toys, and watch movies on the TV, and had lots of fun – all by herself.  But sometimes she wished she had a playmate.  So one day, in order to have a playmate, she got a little fuzzy black and white kitten.  She loved this little kitten and would spend hours a day playing with the kitten.

One day, while she was watching TV, she saw a television show where someone had trained cats to do many tricks.  On cat would walk on top of a rolling barrel.  One cat would actually walk a tightrope.  And one cat would jump through a hoop of fire.  But the trick that caught the attention of the Little Princess was one small, tiny cat, perhaps a kitten, who would roll over at the trainer’s command.  He would move his hand in a circle, and the kitten would roll over.

The Princess thought this was a neat trick and so she made up her mind that she was going to have her own little kitten roll over at her command.  So she picked up the kitten from where it was sleeping on its warm, soft bed, and the Little Princess carried it into the middle of the living room floor.  She rolled her hand around in a circle just like the trainer on TV had done but the kitten just looked at her.  Then the Little Princess tried telling the kitten to roll over, but the kitten just leaned against the Little Princess’ leg.  She tried over and over again to move her hand, and to tell the kitten to roll over.  Then the Little Princess ever grabbed hold of the kitten and pushed it down onto its side and then tried to roll the kitten over.  But the kitten just stood back up, looked at the Little Princess, and shook itself. 

The Little Princess was getting frustrated.  It only wanted the kitten to do something simple, but it wouldn’t do it.  The more she tried to get the kitten to roll over, the more the kitten just looked at her.  She was getting more and more frustrated until she almost could feel her wanting to shove and push the kitten for not doing what she wanted.  So the Little Princess decided she had better stop pushing the kitten.  So the Little Princess had learned long ago that the best thing she could do when she felt frustrated like this was to make herself a peanut butter sandwich.  So she went out to the kitchen, got the bread out, spread on piece with the peanut butter.  Then, realizing that no one was watching her, she put a generous amount of jelly of the other slice of bread.  Then she picked up to sandwich and enjoyed her peanut butter sandwich so much.

She was feeling better until she came back into the living room where the kitten had curled into a big furry ball.  The Little Princess and petted the kitten and started feeling frustrated that the kitten hadn’t learned to roll over.  Just then, the little kitten rolled over.  The eyes of the Little Princess got very wide.  Then the little kitten rolled over again.  Then the kitten looked into the eyes of the Little Princess.

Then the Little Princess realized what the kitten was trying to tell her.  The kitten was teaching her that she should never “expect” certain behavior.  We are only frustrated when we have expectations which are not met.  If we never had expectations, we would never be frustrated and we wouldn’t have to eat peanut butter and jelly sandwiches.  It’s okay to have hopes because if our hopes don’t work out, we can deal with that.  But when we expect others to meet up with our expectations, we are only making ourselves vulnerable to feeling frustrated.  The Little Princess kept repeating to herself, “No expectations – no frustrations” over and over again.  The Little Princess promised herself that she would put this maxim to use with her Daddy the next time she was frustrated with him. 



ON BEING A GLOBAL CITIZEN

ON BEING A GLOBAL CITIZEN

I don’t know your political stance and I’m not trying to convince you.  I’m only telling you my experiences and where I was coming from.

Many people will say that 9/11 was a watershed experience for them – that their reality was transformed so that they didn’t look at the world the same way after 9/11 as they did before then.  My watershed experience wasn’t then, but it was later – when the US attacked Iraq and murdered over 100,000 men, women, and children with their “shock and awe” bombs.  And this was only a couple of weeks after more than 5 Million people demonstrated in the streets in the largest demonstration in the world for all history.  And the only recognition those 5 Million demonstrators got was the President’s social finger.  I knew then that we did not live in a democracy.  No other democratic country could have a demonstration that size and be totally ignored followed by such illegal international killings that were unprovoked. 

But rather than being angry and upset with just the administration (Bush, et al), I was upset with the whole of society that let him get away with the murderous acts without any accountability.  I was as upset with the society as I was the administration.  But I also knew that just being upset doesn’t accomplish anything.  It was then that I decided I did not want to be considered an American citizen and that instead I would be a Global Citizen. 

But then I asked myself what it would mean to be a Global Citizen?  I hadn’t seen any “definitions” of it so I began to do some reading.  One book I read was about Global Citizenship and was talking about the United Nations and the work of the NGOs (Non Government Organizations).  I realized then that there was a lot that we in the US do not know about the United Nations and these NGOs.  Almost always, when we think of the UN, we only think of the work with the government sector – not the civil sector.  But the work of the UN Agencies, UNESCO, UNICEF, WHO, etc. do a tremendous amount of good with the civil sector. 

I then saw an opportunity to take a series of six or seven workshops and become certified through the United Nations in Reconciliation Leadership.  I wasn’t sure what Reconciliation was going to do for me and my life but I viewed this as an opportunity to get to know the UN from the inside, so I signed up.  Several of these weekend workshops were held at the UN and so I found myself going there.  I found a hostel right around the corner from the UN where it only cost $75 a night.  After several visits, I became very familiar with the UN, especially the UN bookstore, the meditation room, and took the tour several times – often with friends who had never been to the UN before.  I also discovered that the Reconciliation Leaders certification was a good tool to develop leadership skills and that although the reconciliation aspects dealt with areas in conflict (like Bosnia, or the Philippines), the same principles applied for conflict management in our interpersonal lives and even in our personal lives.  We are often experiencing conflict internally and we need to develop skillsets for resolving those conflicts – both internal and interpersonal.  We all are exposed to spousal abuse, child abuse, peer abuse, elder abuse, etc. and one doesn’t need to be a full time social worker to find it helpful to have developed some skills in dealing with these conflicts either as a participant or as a third party independent intermediary.  And we seldom think of developing skills for dealing with our own personal internal conflicts – but it is a good experience to do that.

While at the UN, I discovered that every year they had an annual DPI/NGO weeklong conference.  (Department of Public Information and Non Government Organizations).  This was the marriage of the collaborative leadership within the UN and representatives of the more than 25,000 NGOs (as represented in CONGO – the Congress of NGOs).  During this weeklong conference, there would be speakers of international acclaim, as well as many roundtable discussions, and special events on that year’s theme.  I asked around until I found a non-profit organization that allowed me to go as their representative and so I attended just to observe and listen.  I was probably the only one there that was there really as just an individual and not a representative.  The first year I went, the theme was based on the Millennium Development Goals (MDGs) and the progress around the world that the various NGOs were making.  I think the theme the second year was the work of the NGOs with women around the world.  I found it fascinating to find out about all these things being done and no one in our society was even aware of this unless they happened to be in a participating non-profit organization (like Oxfam here in Boston).  I found myself trying to promote the work of the MDGs through the NGOs at different events locally.  I set up a table on the UN’s work with AIDS at the local high school when they had a performance of the play “Angels in America”.  I also set up table displays of the work of the UN and the MDGs at other local events like Girl Scouts, peace rallies, etc.  I even wrote a story and prepared a presentation that I would give to Rotary groups or whatever to educate people on the MDGs.

One time, while returning from an event at the UN, I had stopped in their bookstore and purchased a book about the UN’s work in the business sector with the Global Compact.  This is the promotion of the principles of Triple Bottom Line Accountability which later has become known as Sustainability.  This is holding companies, corporations, and especially transnational corporations accountable not only for financial success/progress, but also environmental progress and also Corporate Social Responsibility (CSR) progress.  (Hence, Triple Bottom Line (TBL) accountability).  I read this book on the train on my way home and realized that this was all about business processes which is my forte. 

It seems that Europe and other places in the Far East were much more advanced in Sustainability than the US was.  The next time I was at the UN, I stopped in at the Global Compact center and loaded myself up with all kinds of material.  I studied all about it and then volunteered to evaluate the annual Sustainability reports from the companies participating in the Global Compact for the UN database of Sustainability reports.  I found out that Brazil was way ahead of the US in Sustainability and also economic development.  I set myself up as a mentor for local non-profits who wanted to participate in this program  but didn’t know how and didn’t have the expertise to develop the program internally.  I found out that the main way that Sustainability is measured is using the standards as presented by the Global Reporting Initiative (GRI) so I paid my own way to go to a week long course in Ohio and became certified.  Later, I wormed my way into a week long course to become certified as a management consultant in Global Compact Reporting in Vienna, Austria – again, by paying my own way.  This was a course for management consultants working in Developing Countries – mostly the countries that split off from the USSR and also China.  I was the only American there and again, I was the only one there on my own and not representing a company or organization. 

I also set myself up as a mentor to a group here in the Boston area called Net Impact.  These are MBA students and graduates who have, or will have MBAs and are looking for opportunities to pursue a career in Sustainability here in the US.  (Sustainability has become much more de rigueur now in the US.)  They weren’t necessarily involved in the Global Compact, but I would work with them to educate them about the Global Compact and how to assist a company to become established in the UN program for Sustainability. 

All of this has led me to realize that one doesn’t have to be involved in these types of activities for their job.  I have been working in Raytheon full time all this time (until last September).  On the local level I have led a Conversation Café every month for a couple of years.  Although this did not focus on the UN, nor on Global Citizenship, there were times when I could interject some of these principles.  One of our best conversations was on the theme of “What are we doing to prepare our children for the world?  And to prepare the world for our children?”  I remember one of the most poignant questions asked was how to protect our children from assuming a materialistic world view when everything around them is based on it.  The response was to take the children on a vacation to a developing country rather than Disneyworld.  It doesn’t have to be to take them to one of the least developed countries, but even to a developing country like Mexico, or Brazil.  To let them see a culture that is not so materialistically based. 

I participate in blogs both in writing blogs as well as responding to others’ blogs and I find ample opportunities to express the values that I have established based on being a Global Citizen.  I have found that by stating I am neither a Republican nor a Democrat, nor a liberal nor a conservation, but a Global Citizen, people will listen to me.  They realize I am talking from own reflections and not just stating a party line that they have heard before and know how to counter already. 

I am also a member of the National Coalition for Dialogue and Deliberation (NCDD) in trying to promote dialogue when dealing with issues instead of presentations of spin talks or debates.  I have found that the best way to start a dialogue on an issue is to ask the question “How is this handled in other countries?”  We in he US are so provincial that we don’t realize that the same issues we experience are also being experienced in other countries.  By knowing how these issues are being handled elsewhere, we can use that as a starting point and then discuss the pros and the cons and build from there.  I find that discussing how these issues are approached in other countries is a good starting point for constructive dialogue about politics, health care, transportation, gun laws, abortions, defense spending, secularism, social safety nets, corporate salaries, unions, etc. etc.  All of the contentious issues where usually each person present their already established views and doesn’t really listen to the others and so nothing is learned.  Explaining them how these issues are handled in other countries almost always leads to a learning experience. 

David Kimball

THE PRINCESS AND THE DRAGON

The Princess and the Dragon,

Once upon a time there lived a Princess who was an orphan.  She lived by herself in a city out in the hinterlands away from the rest of her family.  She felt very, very much alone and so she called the coat she would wear, her cloak of alone-ness.  She wasn’t lonely for she had many close friends, but she lived alone with her favorite cat, Neze.  Neze was a lively kitten/cat and was always playing games on the Princess.  Neze would sometimes hide things on the Princess – especially when the Princess would leave her home and go away all day to go to work.  Although she was a Princess, she did not live in a castle and she did not have enough money to live royally, so she got a job at a castle in the city where she would take care of the local urchins.

It was here that the Princess met the Dragon.  The Dragon would sometimes sneak up from behind the Princess and suddenly start breathing fire on the back of her neck.  Or sometimes, he would come up in front of her and lean forward so his face was right in front of the Princess, and then he would let out a very loud roar.  He enjoyed intimidating the poor little Princess and she didn’t know what to do.

So every night after work, she would return home and play with her Neze.  As soon as she entered her house, she would look around to see if anything had been tipped over while she was gone.  Neze loved to jump around on the chair, and on the table, and on the window sill, and sometimes couldn’t help but knock some things over.  Then the Princess would look for Neze and scratch her head and her behind.  Sometimes when the Princess came home, she would find Neze hiding up on the rafters with a mountain lion trying to attack her.  It seems that Neze would sometimes leave the house by going out an open window and then would go exploring.  But there was a mountain lion, named Chester, who wanted to play with Neze but didn’t know how to play fair.  The mountain lion would play very rough with Neze and sometimes even hurt her.  So Neze would always run away from Chester and would jump back into the house through the open window.  But sometimes that wouldn’t stop Chester for he would leap through the open window after Neze.  Then Neze would be very afraid of being trapped so she would jump up on the rafters.  Poor Neze would have to just wait up there on the rafters until the Princess returned in the evening.  Then the brave Princess would chase Chester, the molester, out of the house.  Neze would be so thankful that she would jump into the arms of the Princess and let her rub her for a good long while.

Then the Princess would open her cupboards and refrigerator and decide what she was going to eat that night – alone.  She would put on her invisible cloak of alone-ness and decide if she wanted to cook something, or just heat something up for herself.  She enjoyed those times when she could just sit down and enjoy her dinner by herself and just think and reflect on all that happened that day.  And then she would think and reflect on what she would be doing at work the next day.  But sometimes the Princess would think how wonderful it would be if she had someone she could talk to in the evenings.

The Princess really enjoyed her work with the urchins.  The urchins recognized that the Princess was gifted with a magical power.  They heard someone say that the magical power of the Princess was called “empathy” but they didn’t know what that was.  All they knew was that it seemed whenever they got into trouble at home, or in trouble with another urchin, or even created trouble in class, the Princess would look at them in their eyes and then she would help them.  Even when the Princess was forced to discipline them, they knew that it bothered her but she did it fairly.  The urchins were not used to being treated fairly and so they loved the Princess.  The Princess loved working with the urchins because it made her feel that she could make a difference in the lives – even if it was only a little difference.  Eventually, the Princess got a nickname called the Angel-Wing Repairer.  This was because she treated all the urchins as if they were angels who had broken a wing which needed repairing.  And the Princess knew just how to repair them.  And the urchins weren’t used to being treated as being special so whenever they could, they would run to the Princess and ask her to help them when they needed some special attention.

Yes, the Princess really enjoyed her job of helping the urchins.  But she didn’t like having to put up with the Dragon all the time.  She would be in her room, and he would come barreling in and roar at her.  Or she would be with the urchins and he would breathe his fire and chase the urchins away.  The Princess didn’t dare fight the dragon because she knew he was much more powerful than she was.  So she just put up with his bellowing and this fire-breathing and just tried to ignore him and avoid him as much as possible.

So even though the Princess was around a lot of people, the urchins and the dragon, and the other people who were supposed to try to help the urchins, the Princess still felt alone there.  She was helping the urchins so she wasn’t one of them.  The other helpers all seemed to be so different that the Princess didn’t really feel like one of them either.  And the Dragon was a completely different animal.  There was no one around who was really like her or even knew her.  So she didn’t have anyone she could just talk to.  So she would just sit and think to herself – all alone.  And at home, she would eat her dinner and stay home – all alone.  And even on weekends, she would run her errands – all alone.  Sometimes she might visit someone or even have someone visit her, like her family, but she still felt alone even at those times.  She didn’t have a person she could just talk to.

The Princess would sometimes think and daydream.  But she would direct her daydreams so it would be about meeting a Prince some time.  She envisioned a Prince coming and taking her way where they would live in his castle.  She could see in her mind that she was putting up with the fiery breath of the Dragon and just wishing she could leave it all behind her.  She was tired of being attacked by this Dragon who seemed to be attacking her more and more.  And then, just when she felt she couldn’t take it any more, she would see this Prince.  And the Prince would come up to the Princess, put his arms around her, and then whisper in her ear “Let me take you out of here where you will never have to see this Dragon again and where you won’t be alone except when you want to be.”  And the Princess would be so grateful, that she just collapsed in his arms as he carried her away to a far-off land.

And the Princess would feel free to talk to the Prince and tell him things she would never ever tell anyone else.  She would tell him about how she felt that she was a Princess and not a Queen, and that she wanted to live like a Little Girl Princess.  She wanted a Daddy to embrace her and give her all the hugs she had ever wanted.  A Daddy who would love her, and take care of her, and see that she had everything that she needed.  And the Princess could play games with this Daddy, and watch movies with this Daddy, and go shopping with this Daddy, and they could go for a treat and have an ice cream cone.  And this Princess would be the apple of his eye. 

And she envisioned that this Daddy/Prince would help her to discover herself.  There was so much about her that she had never explored.  She knew that there were lots of things she would enjoy, but had never experienced.  This Prince would help her to experience all these new and wonderful things.  The Princess would get to know herself – inside and out.  She would learn all about herself – what she enjoyed and what she didn’t enjoy.  But she would know these because of her own personal experiences – not because someone told her what she should or shouldn’t enjoy.  The Prince would take her on this journey of discovery through the land of sensations and revelations. 

And she would envision this Daddy/Prince as being the one person in the whole wide world who would love her as she was – not as she was supposed to be.  And like a Daddy, he would help her.  He would soothe her when she was afraid.  And he would calm her when she was anxious.  And he would help her to develop.  He would help her to develop all those things she found interesting but never had time to develop when she was alone.  Now, instead of a cloak of alone-ness, she would be experiencing a cloak of sharing.

But this Daddy would also realize that there would be times when she still needed to be alone.  So he would give her those times.  She would put on her cloak of alone-ness but now the cloak seemed to be so much lighter.  It didn’t seem so heavy as before.  Yet it still covered her just as much as before.  So the Princess would take turns putting on her cloak of alone-ness and then her cloak of sharing.  And the Princess made a bunch of new friends in the land of the Prince.  And she got another job but it was a job which was ideal for her and there was no Dragon fire-breathing down her neck, or bellowing in her face. 

And the Princess and the Daddy/Prince lived happily ever after.

David Kimball